As my birthday approaches, I find myself reflecting on the choices, habits, and mindsets that shaped my 20s—some good, some… not so much. This time of life often feels like an endless bucket list of adventures, milestones, and achievements, but what about the things we shouldn’t do? That’s where the anti-bucket list comes in.
Unlike a traditional bucket list, which celebrates goals and aspirations, an anti-bucket list challenges you to identify and let go of habits, behaviors, and mindsets that hold you back. It’s about making space for the things that truly matter by cutting out the ones that don’t. Think of it as decluttering your life—not just your closet or your social calendar, but the way you live, the way you think, and the way you prioritize your time.
For me, this list is personal—built on lessons learned the hard way, questionable decisions made in the name of “fun,” and a growing desire to live a life that feels meaningful rather than chaotic. If you’re in your 20s—or even your 30s—this anti-bucket list could be just what you need to start clearing the path to a better, more intentional future.
1. Ditch the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)-Fueled Weekend Benders.
In my 20s and 30s, I was out on Thursday nights for “Ladies Night,” Friday night to celebrate the end of the work week, and Saturday nights for clubbing. I couldn’t miss Deion Sanders’ Primetime 21 club and Blackberries just to name a few. I just HADDDD to be out and about and to be seen. But here’s the truth: those epic nights out were rarely as epic as I imagined. I so wish I could get the money back that I blew-Lord!
Instead of trying to be everywhere and do everything, focus on quality over quantity. Cultivate deeper connections with a smaller group of friends. Explore activities that truly resonate with you, whether it’s joining a book club, reconnecting with an instrument, or volunteering for a cause you care about. You’ll find that these experiences often bring more lasting satisfaction than another night at the club.
2. Why Hoarding “Just in Case” Items Doesn’t Belong on Your List
Let go of the clutter and embrace a more minimalist lifestyle. We often hold onto things out of a misguided sense of future necessity or nostalgia. I know I did.
My first apartment looked like “Public Storage.” I held on to so much because I thought I would need it in the future, and I cringed at the thought of having to repurchase something that I had previously thrown away. But this habit can lead to cluttered spaces and cluttered minds.
Start by going through your belongings and asking yourself, “Have I used this in the past year? Does it truly bring me joy?” If the answer is no, it’s time to let it go. Donate, sell, or recycle items you no longer need. You’ll be surprised at how liberating it feels to live with less, and how much easier it is to keep your space organized and peaceful.
3. Drop the Habit of Doom-Scrolling Before Bed.
Replace late-night social media binges with a relaxing bedtime self-care routine. “Doom-scrolling” –which is the act of continuously scrolling through negative news–can significantly impact your mental health and sleep quality before bed. When you end your day by watching, reading or listening to negative things before hitting the sheets, you end up subconsciously sleeping in stress and negativity. No wonder we wake up on the wrong side of the bed!
Instead, opt for a calming pre-snooze ritual. This could include reading a physical book, practicing gentle yoga or stretching , listening to soothing music, engaging with this cute mindfulness breathing light named Kyle or using a meditation device kit by Tesh Care called a Portable Calm Sleep Aid Kit. By creating a buffer between your day and your sleep, you’ll likely find yourself falling asleep faster and waking up more refreshed.
4. Abandon the “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” Mentality.
Make getting enough sleep a priority and you will be productive as never before. When we’re young, naive, and invincible (like in our 20s), it’s easy to convince ourselves that we don’t need much sleep (if any) and can push our bodies to its limits without consequences. But regular sleep deprivation is associated with numerous health problems, lowered cognitive functioning and reduced life satisfaction.
The standard goal is to aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night; and make your bedroom sleep-friendly by investing in a comfortable mattress, using blackout curtains, keeping your bedroom cool, and perhaps investing in some mood soothing amber light bulbs. These actually work! So don’t substitute them for the regular soft white bulbs in your lamps at the office or you can kiss productivity goodbye.
5. Stop Comparing Your Behind-the-Scenes to Others’ Reels They Want You to See!
Go about your own business and celebrate your journey instead. Social media has made it much more easily accessible to glimpse into others’ lives but just remember that these are edited snapshots, not the truth. Nobody puts their worst selves and bad days out there for all to see.
Rather than benchmarking yourself against other people, make personal targets and observe your own development. Journal about your successes, no matter how small they are and never forget that everyone started at different places, has their own unique journey, and every success looks different.
6. The Anti Bucket List: Stop Ghosting to Avoid Tough Conversations
Learn to be brave enough to have tough conversations and offer closure. Ghosting – suddenly ceasing all communications without explanation – could appear like the quickest resolution, but leaves one side confused and upset. Always be open and honest, even when it hurts.
The ability to convey your emotions well and with grace is an important life skill that will be of benefit to you in any relationship, both personal and professional.
7. Quit Neglecting Your Passion Projects Before It’s Too Late
Take the time now to work on that novel or that painting or whatever side-gig you have been avoiding. I recently got back into playing my violin after 13 years, have done a couple of solo performances, and have felt like I never missed a beat. We lose track of our creativity in the hustle and bustle of young adulthood. But when we get involved with activities that we (not someone else) are truly interested in, our lives can feel full of happiness and satisfaction.
Find regular time to work on your projects, even if it’s only an hour a week. And never let go, no matter how much or how little progress you make. Depending on how consistently you work, you might be pleasantly surprised what you can build up to. I am a firm believer in “if you keep poking the bear, it will wake up!”
8. Why Oversharing on Social Media is the Wrong Move
Develop the aura of mystery, and learn how to respect your private space online. Social media is a great resource for staying connected but too much sharing will eventually kill privacy and may even disrupt your professional life.
Before posting, think and ask yourself: “Could I let my boss or future employer see this?” Save some experiences for yourself, or only invite your closest friends and family into this circle. This can help you appreciate life more fully and experience events as they unfold instead of presenting them on screen.
Personally, I wish I had never joined Facebook or any other social media platform; but I know that’s the way of the world these days. This is how people connect. This is often sought after when job hunting and people look at you as if you have 2 heads if you say that you don’t do social media. Let’s not even talk about if you have NO followers.
9. Stop Treating Your Body Like a 24/7 All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
I am not going to lie. I still struggle with this one. Can I be real? I still love junk food; however, junk food does not love me back at this stage in my life.
I wish I could go back to my younger 20 and 30 year old self and tell her to develop a better connection to food and learn how to prepare healthy food but I was distracted by item #1 on this list above. As young adults, it is so easy to take our metabolism for granted, but taking charge of your eating now will put your numbers in a better place down the road. Learn to make healthy food at home.
Try different cuisines, flavors, ingredients. Observe the way foods make you feel; and stay the course: this isn’t about dieting but taking care of your body with a food conscious attitude.
10. The Anti Bucket List Mindset: Quit Postponing Adulting Tasks.
Take on those daunting projects head on and relish in the satisfaction of having everything in control. These might be daunting responsibilities like setting up a retirement plan, getting life and health insurance, starting a “rainy day” fund or creating a budget, but they’re important for your future success. Break them down into small, attainable action steps. Consider getting professional help or support from reputable adults if you need it. Every single project you achieve will make you feel confident and will position you for a more stable, safe future.
While you’re still in your 20s, try to keep in mind it’s not about what you are doing, it’s also what you’re not. These are your years of expansion, self-discovery, and the groundwork for the rest of your life. By eliminating these habits at an early age, you’re freeing up space for the experiences and behaviors that really do give you value.
Which one, dear reader, is it for you? What would you add to your anti-bucket list? Don’t forget that it’s never too late to start change but the sooner you start the longer you have to reap the benefits. I want to continue to develop, learn and be the best person I can be – one abandoned habit at a time. How about you?
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